


If Love Can Be Called a Mistake

by writing_with_a_passion16



Series: If Love Can Be Called A Mistake [1]
Category: Shameless (US), gallavich - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-25
Updated: 2015-03-25
Packaged: 2018-03-19 12:04:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3609462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writing_with_a_passion16/pseuds/writing_with_a_passion16
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is the emotional journey of Ian Gallagher and Mickey Milkovich in Shameless. Each chapter follows the emotions, thoughts, and actions of both Ian and Mickey in Shameless.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Mandy

**Author's Note:**

> In this chapter:  
> Ian entertains a grateful Mandy Milkovich.  
> Mickey is out for blood upon finding out Ian touched his sister.

_Mandy_

**Ian**

“Hey, Ian!”

Ian looked up at Mandy Milkovich who was walking down the stairs of the L. She was wearing a tiny shirt under a heavy coat. Ian was shocked her legs weren’t blue by this point, “Hi, Mandy.”

“Thanks for helping me out in history today.” Mandy bit on her lip and moved closer to Ian.

“No problem,” Ian smiled taking a step back. “That guy’s a total jerk.”

“Totally,” Mandy giggled. “Wanna hang out?”

Ian wasn’t sure what to say. He had never really been fond of anyone in the Milkovich family. The father was an aggressive, abusive drunk. His oldest boys were all delinquents. His youngest son Mickey was scary as fuck, but Ian liked him in a strange way. It wasn’t because Mickey gave him cigarettes in exchange for his awful homework answers. Mickey just didn’t scare Ian.

Then there was Mandy. Mandy was pretty, she was tall, thin, pale, with dark hair, and pretty eyes. She used all of that to her advantage. Everyone in town knew Mandy got what she wanted by giving guys what they wanted. She must have wanted a higher grade in history but didn’t want to do the teacher. That was when Ian came in.

“Sure,” Ian said hesitantly. Mandy was the nicest of the Milkovichs, it wouldn’t kill him to have a friend who was a girl. It might keep away theories, no matter how accurate.

Mandy smiled, “Great! Can we go to your place?”

Ian nodded. He would have preferred going to a movie or getting coffee. However, his house was a thousand times better than the Milkovich house. They walked in silence, Mandy making attempts to hold Ian’s hand.

Ian kept pulling his hand away, “I jammed my hand in a door today at work, it just kind of hurts.”

“Oh,” Mandy smiled.

Ian sighed as they walked into his house. He made a beeline for the kitchen, “Wanna beer?”

“Sure,” Mandy smiled. She took off her coat and adjusted her shirt.

Ian handed her a can that seemed warm in comparison to the weather outside.

Ian walked over to the couch and smiled weakly at Mandy. She smiled and sat nearly on top of him. They sat in silence before Ian reached for the T.V. remote.

“Thanks,” Carl said, taking the remote from Ian. He sat on the floor and started flipping through channels, “Can I have a beer?”

“No,” Ian said.

“Why not?”

“You’re not fifteen yet.”

“Come on, Ian, let the kid have a beer.” Mandy smiled.

“Fiona’s rules,” Ian said before chugging half of his beer.

Carl turned to Mandy, “When did you start drinking?”

Mandy shrugged, “Thirteen.”

“See!” Carl yelled at Ian.

“You’re not even thirteen yet, Carl,” Ian sighed.

Carl was quiet, satisfied with whatever he found on T.V.

Ian was relieved with something on the T.V. to occupy him. He chugged the rest of his beer, starting to feel a headache coming on.

Mandy’s hand slid up his thigh.

Ian jumped slightly and pressed the can to his lips. He sighed when he remembered it was empty. He jumped up, “Want another one?”

“Sure,” Mandy smiled.

Ian went into the kitchen, happy to have some space. He wished Lip were here to intervene. Lip would smooth talk Mandy into leaving. Carl didn’t help; he’d probably enjoy watching Mandy rape him.

What was he going to do? He wouldn’t just have sex with Mandy; that would be awkward for them both. He couldn’t demand her to leave; she was a nice girl after all.

Ian sighed, deciding he would deal with it when it happened. He handed Mandy her beer which she immediately put on the table. Ian sat down as far from Mandy was possible. He noticed Carl was gone and he felt betrayed. How could his own flesh and blood leave him here with Mandy Milkovich who obviously wanted sex?

Suddenly Mandy was on top of Ian, her hands on his chest, her legs straddling his hips. She kissed him, her tongue trying to coax his lips open.

He pulled back, “Mandy, I can’t.”

“What do you mean?” Mandy laughed.

“I don’t want to have sex with you,” Ian breathed.

Mandy’s face twisted in what looked like rage, pain, shock, and embarrassment. She quickly hopped off of Ian, grabbed her coat and ran out the door.

Ian tilted his head back and sighed.

 

**Mickey**

Mandy ran into the house, slamming the front door behind her. She wiped her arm over her eyes as she darted past the kitchen. Mickey heard her stomping upstairs before her door slammed closed. He looked around at his dad and brothers whom were all entertaining themselves. Terry was staring at a beer can trying to unlock its secrets and desires. His four older brothers were polishing weapons while flipping through porn magazines.

Mickey brushed his thumb over his lips, “Fine, I’ll talk to her.” Mickey got up and rolled his eyes at the lack of response. Wasn’t family the one thing you were legally allowed to have in Southside? That’s what Mandy thought; maybe that’s why they were so close.

Mickey knocked on Mandy’s door, “Hey, Mandy!”

There was a crashing against the door, “Go away!”

Mickey jumped slightly, “What the fuck? You on your period or something?”

“Go the fuck away, Mickey!”

Mickey rolled his eyes, “Fine, I will.” Mickey started to slowly walk away. He smiled when he heard the door open. Mandy liked to pretend she was tough, and she was, but sometimes she needed Mickey, just like sometimes Mickey need her.

“Mickey?” Mandy whispered. She was leaning against her door. Her makeup was smeared all over her face, rivers of black down to her chin.

Mickey walked back over and followed Mandy into her room, “Who do I have to kill?”

Mandy shook her head, “Nobody.” Mandy looked over at Mickey and sighed, “I went over to Ian Gallagher’s place to study.” Mandy hesitated and bit her lip, “Then he, he uh—“

“He what?”

“He jumped me.” Mandy felt her stomach sink.

“He what?” Mickey stormed down the steps.

“Mickey!”

Mickey walked over to the weapons cabinet and scanned everything inside of it.

“Mickey, don’t.”

“Why the fuck not?” Mickey looked at his sister, her eyes red.

“What’s going on?” Iggy asked, looking up from a switch blade.

“Gallagher fucked Mandy.”

“Frank?” Everyone asked.

“No, the younger one!” Mickey racked through his brain. He knew the name all too well, but he couldn’t let his dad see that. “Ian!”

“Shit, Mickey, it’s almost midnight. Just kill him tomorrow,” Tony said through a yawn.

“You’re kidding right?” Mickey turned to face his family, “Mandy was raped and you’re just going to sit here?”

“Mickey,” Mandy gently laid a hand on her brother. “Forget about it.”

Mickey wiped his lip again, “Fine. Fine, I’ll go to sleep, forget about it, but as soon as that sun rises, Gallagher is a dead man!” Mickey stormed off to his room. He closed the door and flopped onto his bed.

“Shit,” He grumbled, digging his hands into his eyes. Ian Gallagher fucked his sister. Ian Gallagher, the kid with fiery red hair and bright green eyes who let Mickey cheat off his homework in exchange for cigarettes. Ian Gallagher, the kid who seemed to live in Mickey’s mind.

 

“Ian Gallagher!” Mickey stormed into the Kash and Grab, Iggy and Tony behind him. He heard something fall and turned his attention to the back of the store. Ian stood in shock before quickly running to the freezer. He pulled the door closed behind him.

Mickey banged on the door, “We know what you did to Mandy! Come out of there!” Mickey’s fist continued to hit the door. He’d beat the shit out of anyone who touched his sister, but right now he kind of wanted to beat the shit out of Ian for not touching him.

“He’s already gone, there’s a door out the back,” Kash said. His voice shook and he quickly stepped back as Mickey ran past him.

Mickey ran out to the back of the store, not finding Ian. He shook his head, he knew Ian was still in that store, but he’d let it go for now.

“Where do you think that little shit went?” Iggy asked, slinging a baseball bat over his shoulder.

Mickey shook his head, “I don’t know, but I need a fucking beer.”

His brothers nodded in agreement. They went to a shabby bar by the Kash and Grab. The Alibi was preferable, but here they could at least see the store. Mickey set his beer on the pool table and angled his body.

“Hey, isn’t that Gallagher?”

Mickey looked up, slightly disappointed when he didn’t see red hair. “No, dumbass, that’s Lip.” Mickey took his pool stick outside and stepped in front of Lip and Karen. “Hey, Lip, thanks for writing that paper for me. I got a B.”

“Yeah, tell your friends.”

Mickey smiled, leaning on the stick, “Listen. I’m looking for Ian, have you seen him?”

“No, why?”

“Mandy told us he fucked her last night.”

“Ian? There must be some mistake,” Lip laughed.

Mickey shrugged, hoping there would be a mistake. “That’s what she told us. We haven’t seen him all day, but someone will have to take a beat down.” Mickey looked at Lip whose smile faded. Mickey made sure Karen was out of the way before his brothers pushed Lip to the ground and wailed on him.

Mickey still didn’t feel satisfied. He thought beating the shit out of someone would make Ian’s beat down a little easier; however, he didn’t feel better. There was this pain in his chest that never really seemed to go away. It felt heavier after Mandy told him Ian hurt her.

“Come on,” Mickey growled at his brothers. They paid their bar tab and bought a couple of six packs. They sat outside of the Kash and Grab waiting for Ian. The alcohol took a bit of the edge off, but not much.

Kash came out and seemed to avoid Mickey’s gaze.

“Hey, Kash and Grab! Where’s fire-crotch?”

Kash shrugged, “He left hours ago.”

Mickey sighed, “You tell him we’ll be looking for him and to stop hiding.” Mickey finished off his beer and stormed back home.


	2. Gay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian confesses his secret to Mandy.  
> Mickey struggles with his feelings for Ian.

** Ian **

            Ian got up early, tripping over his feet as he tried to get dressed. He walked down the staircase closest to the front door, deciding breakfast was a no-go. His stomach was in knots and he felt like he was going to puke. ROTC taught him how to fight, but Mickey Milkovich was a hell of a lot scarier than some guy with a gun. Ian grabbed the baseball bat off the wall and left.

            He headed to the Milkovich’s house, his limbs feeling weaker and weaker. He wasn’t sure why Mickey scared him so much. Maybe it wasn’t the fear of getting his face bashed in. Maybe it was just nerves he got every time Mickey was around. Most people trembled in fear when Mickey was in the room. Ian tried to avoid eye contact and keep his heart rate down. He wasn’t afraid per say, but he was anxious.

            Ian crouched behind some trash cans across the street. He waited, watching the Milkovich door for Mickey to come out. His palms were sweaty, despite the cold. This really screwed up his plans to talk to Mickey again. In a way, Ian was sad Mickey dropped out of school. He liked the way Mickey nodded his head in appreciation when Ian let him copy. He liked the way Mickey came to class smelling like booze and smoke and didn’t care what the teacher thought. He liked the way Mickey was brave enough to stand up to the teacher, no matter how small the matter.

            “Jesus!” Ian jumped, feeling a hand on his shoulder. His pulse calmed slightly when he saw it was only Lip.”

            “Just me,” Lip smiled. He looked from Ian to the bat, “So what’s the plan?”

            “Wait for Mickey to come out than hit him in the back of the head with a baseball bat.”

            “What about the other brothers?”

            “They’ll probably kill me.”

            Lip picked up a brick, “You get Mickey, I’ll handle the rest.”

            Ian shook his head, “No, it’s time for me to face him.” Ian looked over the trash cans, hearing the door open and Terry yelling. His heart was racing, but it wasn’t Mickey who came out. Ian handed Lip the bat, “I’ll be right back.”

            Lip didn’t say anything, he just watched Ian cross the street.

            “Mandy!” Ian called out.

            “Ew, get away from me you perv!” Mandy squealed, walking faster.

            “Mandy, please let me explain.”

            “No need, Ian, I get it. You find me disgusting, right?”

            “No, I think you’re beautiful.”

            “Then why the hell did you push me away the other night?”

            Ian hesitated, trying to decide what to say. He could lie; make up something about not being ready or saving himself for marriage. Neither of those would work, he lived in Southside Chicago where most people lost their virginities by thirteen. “I’m gay,” Ian said quickly, wanting to shove the words out.

            “You’re kidding?” Mandy sneered.

            Ian shrugged, “Nope.” He started walking, wanting to get away from the Milkovich house.

            Mandy asked him all sorts of questions, trying to look for flaws in his story of not wanting to have disappointing sex with Mandy.

            They walked down into a ditch where there was no one around.

            “So, you’re really gay?”

            Ian sighed, taking Mandy’s hand. He put his hand on her breast and her hand on his crotch. He waited a minute, “See, nothing.”

            Mandy smiled, relieved, “Wow.”

            Ian shrugged, starting to walk again. They walked in silence, Ian trying to wrap his head around coming out. Now three people knew: Lip, Mandy, and Kash; although, Kash didn’t count because they were kind of screwing.

            Mandy sat on a swing set, “You know I could pretend to be your girlfriend.”

            Ian sat beside her, “Really?”

            Mandy nodded, “Yea. It would keep the creepy guys at school away from me and no one would suspect about you. Besides, I’ve never had a real boyfriend before, not that you’d actually be my boyfriend. It would be nice to do things other than getting finger banged all the time.”

            Ian smiled, “Thanks.”

            Mandy stretched her hand out and Ian took it.

 

** Mickey **

           “Where the fuck have you been?” Mickey asked his sister as he sat on the couch cleaning a gun.

            “With Ian.”

            “Why?”

            “We worked things out.”

            Mickey raised an eyebrow, “You worked things out with the guy who raped you? Jesus, Mandy, have some self-respect!”

            “At least I’ve maintained a relationship! You just sleep with every fat chick you see!” Mandy snapped before going up stairs.

            “Fuck,” Mickey groaned. He sat the gun down and rubbed at his eyes. He was exhausted and hung over. He couldn’t sleep last night; Ian’s petrified face played over and over behind his eyes. Normally, he loved the wide eyed, slack jaw look everyone gave him. For whatever reason, Ian just made Mickey want to stop in his tracks and wait for that look to go away. He hated Ian’s green eyes staring at him with fear. He hated the way his freckles stood out as his face paled.

            “Fuck,” Mickey groaned again. He wasn’t supposed to have these thoughts. He wasn’t supposed to think about Ian. He wasn’t supposed to care what Ian thought of him. His job was to scare people to get his way in this shitty town.

            Mandy was right, though, and that bugged the hell out of Mickey. He’d never even been in a relationship. The closest thing to a relationship he’s ever had was repeatedly banging Angie Zago. We went for the fat chicks with low self-esteem so they wouldn’t be disappointed. He knew he wouldn’t deliver, not with Gallagher tying his stomach in knots. In fact, that was the only way he managed sex.

            Why did he have to live in a family where he would be beaten to death if anyone could read his mind? Why did he live in a town where anyone and everyone could jump him if they knew? Why did he think about Ian fucking Gallagher in his spare time?

            Mickey looked at the clock; it was the middle of the afternoon and he was hungry. He grabbed his coat and walked towards the main stretch of town that had stores and restaurants. Before he knew it, he was standing in front of the Kash and Grab. Linda had just walked off, dragging two miserable looking boys behind her.

            Mickey walked in, nodding at Kash who immediately tensed up. He meandered through the isles, inspecting each piece of merchandise. He grabbed a Slim Jim and walked towards the front, “Fire-crotch working today?”

            Kash shook his head, avoiding Mickey’s eyes, “No.”

            Mickey’s stomach sunk, but he played it off, “Too bad, he still needs a black eye.” Mickey walked to the back of the store and grabbed a six pack of beer.

            Mickey waved at Kash as he walked out the door, half expecting Kash to run after him and ask for money. Mickey looked back at the sad little store and smiled when Kash didn’t follow.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think! I was not going to post this originally, but my friend loved it and forced me into posting!


End file.
